January 18, 2011

Get punched in the gut?

Figuratively, but literally might have been better.

I said something unnecessary. Imagine that. Then I had my ass handed to me after a big bite was taken out of it. I’m just feeling like crap and wondering what I did in the world.

I’m not all “but I’m the victim” on this, but come on people! Seriously???  Please don’t read into what I say and attach your own meaning without knowing or asking what I mean. I’m a pretty open book most of the time. Feel free to ask so I can correct your assumptions about what I mean because you’re wrong.

There are just some things that aren’t open for discussion with people below a certain threshold of importance to me. Arrogant as that sounds, it’s true with no apologies about it.

And that line was crossed in a pretty big way. It’s just an issue and a struggle and I kinda just want to tell someone where to stick it.

But that’s not really what I mean.

I appreciate constructive criticism and opportunities for growth as a person. I just struggle with character attacks and feeling like I’ve been told that my values are wrong. Nope, sorry. My values are mine. That’s off limits. What I said had nothing to do with someone else’s worth, it had to do with my own values. I’m entitled to them as is every other person in the world and the entirety of history. Grrrrr…..

So again, where are my values and how much do I want to let someone else impact them and what I do about them? Do I want to give someone else that power? Um…. Easy. Nope.

But, the flip side of that is that I’m me, always will be and I’m not going to deny myself. That doesn’t make for a happy or productive me. That makes for a bitch which I’m not. No more letting someone else make me feel like I am or tell me that I am. I know better and I know me.

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